Joint Facebook Accounts
Joint Facebook accounts. Let’s just talk about those for a second, shall we? I seem to find that more and more couples are opting for a joint social media presence these days but I’m having a hard time coming up with reasons why someone would think this was a good idea. I can think of a hundred and one reasons why it would be a bad idea, though. Let’s start with some of those.
There was that one couple I commented on, on Twitter a while back. From the Insta-rants, I gathered that someone had stirred up some shit about one or both of them and the couple had joined forces and come together, deleting all traces of their former single Instagram accounts and moving forward with a joint venture.
Do you know what that says to me?
?? One of them cheated. ??
Or there were, at least, reports that one of them had been fooling around. Is there ever really smoke without the slightest hint of a little fire? No, not usually. So now I’m wondering which one of them did it. For the record, that’s what I think when I come across EVERY joint / couple social media account too. One of them definitely cheated, but which one was the more likely culprit?
Reasons why a joint Facebook account is bad #1: People are going to judge you and your relationship.
They are also going to assume that one of you cheated, or almost cheated. Or he / she denied it and you were stupid enough to believe it.
I know you shouldn’t care what people think of you or your relationship, but if you want to live it out on social media like that … well, that’s what you get. I’m invested if I’ve liked one of your couple-based posts. I want to know how you break up if it happens. Like, every little detail. If you want me to invest in your relationship with my likes and smiley faces, I’m invested when it comes to one or both of you playing away.
And before you ask, yes, I’m just as bad. I live my relationship out on social media just like everybody else. There are #coupleselfies and #love posts galore these days. I guess you could say I’m happy. But airing my dirty linen? No. Noooooooo. No thanks. You won’t find any evidence of a fight on my social media accounts. There are no signs of a breakdown, no bitchy quotes. That’s not what I’m about. I only share the happy shit. I would be mortified if my Facebook friends found out about something as damaging as an infidelity.
Joint Facebook accounts, though … why would you take someone’s personal freedom away like that? And what’s the point? You can’t stop someone cheating on you by taking away their privacy. In fact, I’m going to make that my second point.
Reasons why a joint Facebook account is bad #2: You can’t stop someone cheating on you by taking away their privacy.
It.just.doesn’t.work.
Take away his Facebook messenger and all he’ll do is find another way to cheat on you. He’ll just go back to good ol’ fashioned bar meets to pick up chicks instead. Either that or he’ll find another messenger service. Or he’ll get a secret infidelity phone.
Seriously, I’ve seen and heard it all over the years. Not only have I been screwed over multiple times by men who do things just like that – buy a second phone for the sake of being able to chat up other women – but I also have a very close relationship with a lot of my male friends. The things I’ve heard … let’s just say that I’ve been repulsed by these cretins on more than one occasion.
I was having a good ol’ root through the ‘people you may know’ on Facebook today, which is basically a list of men who didn’t make the cut for me. The Director is on there, both of his accounts, as well as the Courier-Guy with the flat ass and fart issues. But then I saw someone else too, someone who I hadn’t spotted on my ‘people you may know’ list before. The Take-Me-To-The-Woods Guy. Also known as Number 35.
He’s with the same girl he cheated on with me, 8/9 years ago. They have babies now, but she was pregnant when we were doing our thing. I literally had no shame back then. My husband may have been an abusive skank but I was definitely no angel. Not that I’m proud of it, of course, but sometimes I amaze myself with my own levels of sluttiness promiscuity. I wouldn’t be seen dead doing that now – and by that, I mean Number 35 and my husband. I wouldn’t touch either of them with a barge pole. I’m struggling to find reasons why I even bothered with them back then.
But they have a joint Facebook account now, Number 35 and his wife. I wonder if she knows about the other Facebook account he has? The one without the profile picture that he used to message me about a year or so back? I’ve had a sneaky peek and the account is still active. Everything is private, no pictures, and his name is spelled wrong so she can’t find it, but it’s there. I wonder if she knows about it. I wonder if she knows he’s still chasing women behind her back and that he’s probably still sleeping with other women behind her back, too. What a scumbag. They’ve been together over ten years now, and they have two or three babies together.
Reasons why a joint Facebook account is bad #3: Your partner will probably just have a secret Facebook account you don’t know about anyway.
I just can’t understand why anyone would think a joint Facebook account could solve the problem here. Surely it would just cause more problems than it solves? Everyone misinterprets stuff from time to time, and it would surely only be a matter of time before you saw something totally innocent that he said, that you read the wrong way? That’s just a lesson in losing friends right there, and boyfriends too.
Plus, what’s the point in worry about infidelity that hasn’t happened yet? And if it has happened, you probably should have kicked him (or her) to the kerb.
If he/she hasn’t cheated yet, or you “believe” they haven’t cheated yet, there’s no need for a joint account and all those trust issues … right?
Wait, I forgot to list the points.
Reasons why a joint Facebook account is bad #4: One of you WILL misinterpret/misread a totally innocent text sent to the other. It WILL result in a fight.
Reasons why a joint Facebook account is bad #5: What’s the point in worry about a cheating incident that *hasn’t* happened yet?
Reasons why a joint Facebook account is bad #6: If you don’t trust him enough to let him have his own Facebook account, you probably shouldn’t be together.
In short, if you have a joint Facebook account with your other half, there’s a good chance I’m laughing at you. I’m also wondering about a few things. Why would you stay with someone who cheated? If you can’t trust that they won’t do it again, you shouldn’t be together. Joint social media accounts solve nothing.
I’m also judging you. I’m judging you for taking him/her back after they treated you so badly. I’m judging you for being a bit batshit crazy. (This is for you if you’re demanding a joint account because you have trust issues.) You can’t take away someone’s freedom and privacy just because you *think* they might have cheated on you. That’s ridiculous, and actually a little cruel.
I’ve never had a joint Facebook account with anyone in my life, and I can tell you this much for free: there’s no chance of me doing it in the future. There’s no way I would give someone the satisfaction of *thinking* they have that much of a personal insight into my life. And by “someone”, I mean anyone. By having a joint account, that just tells people he cheated on me (or I cheated on him), and I really can’t stand airing out my dirty laundry like that. I also wouldn’t want a partner of mine to think it would be okay to go snooping through my messages. Trust me or don’t trust me. I’m not cheating on you. I’ve never given you a reason to think otherwise. Show me some respect.
I guess, after all that, I’m just saying that it’s a bad idea. That’s my judgement and those are my opinions, although I do welcome alternative arguments in the comments below. If you have a joint Facebook account with your other half, please tell me why.
But yeah, those are my views.
Joint Facebook/social media accounts are BAD.
Peace out ✌
I’ve obviously been reading joint FB accounts wrong – I always thought ‘smug marrieds bragging’! 😀
I also feel I should point out (die to my age) I do not include on this the couples where only one person has the account and the partner posts and then adds their name, cos lots of my non-tech-savvy mates do that.
And apologies for my crappy typing. I’ll let you guess what I mean…..